Monday, January 10, 2011

a hard decision to make

i have never in my life that i need to make such a hard decision...

i have 2 weeks...

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

fucked up

so fucked up that i dont know what to do!!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

the aftermath

sister called me last night in the hospital. she was crying and missing the family... it really broke my heart to hear her cried.

she sounded depressed. i dont know if it was becaused of the hormone effect or she was depressed having to stay in the hospital for 6 nights all by herself. i am guessing both...

she had fever 2 days ago, so the doctor had keep her under observation and would not discharge her any sooner. she was not allowed to have a proper balanced diet under the doctor's order. she said she felt like throwing up everytime she sees the food provided by the hospital.

i could do nothing to comfort her. i basically kept changing topics to distract her from thinking too much.

i am re-considering sending my parents to uk for at least a few weeks after she discharges from the hospital. i hope that helps her recovery speedier.

Monday, July 07, 2008

finally all is well.

we were expecting call since 10:30pm on friday night but it wasnt until 1:15am did we get the call from her boyfriend who was just gotten the call from the surgeon, that everything went fine.

eventhough the operation took longer than expected (since 3pm, that's 10 hours as compare to what we were told as 7-8 hrs) but we felt the relief. Parents have been acted like normal the whole night but i knew they were very worried especially after midnight.

sister called on saturday night and she sounded like the same person :) only with a softer tone. which is good news as we didnt expect her to speak a single word for at least a week.

parents were relieved and they were considering not going to UK, as they didnt want another 2 old people that needed to take care. that would add burden to the boyfriend and his family.

ah well, i am glad it came out all well.

Friday, June 27, 2008

before the operation...

thank goodness the ct scan result is good. the cancer did not spread to any other area.

operation has been confirmed on next friday july 4th morning. the whole process will take about 7 hours. the surgeon will remove the whole thyroid, right side lymph node and 2 right parathyroid. afterward, she will have to stay in the hospital for 4-6 days depending on how she heals.

risks involved:
1. hoarse voice if one of the vocal cord is spoiled; or permanently lose her voice if two cords is spoiled, she will also need to use a tube to breath FOREVER.
2. difficulties on face expression. (if some nerves were damaged)
3. difficulties in raising hands. (i suppose so because the arm muscles is close to the neck)
4. movement of tongue.

she also told me that she will not have any feeling/sensation on her right neck FOREVER. plus a very big scar.

i can sense that she is worried. not much on the operation itself but the future. the future on how she will not be able to control herself, throwing bad temper, or even hate herself for needing people to take care of her...

i can feel her starting to get depressed. i wish there's something i can do. :(

Thursday, June 26, 2008

yes, it's another cancerous object...

little sis updated me last night and told me the biopsy result. the doctor confirmed the unknown shadow on her lymph node is cancer, possibly a near spread from the papillary thyroid cancer.

so an operation is needed. the doctor will make a 4 inches cut from below her right ear all the way down.

she'll do a CT scan later today and an operation could be scheduled as early as next friday...

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

not just thyroid?

sister called again last night and told me the operation will be postponed.

and i had a bad feeling when she told me the news. she sounded worried and i could sensed that she was crying earlier.

it turned out that the doctor found a 2mm unknown object on one of the lymph node near to the thyroid in the x-ray taken yesterday.

so instead of operation today, she will be doing another biopsy on the lymph node. and report will be out next week. :(

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

pingpong ball

was chatting with sister on msn earlier. she told me the hospital has taken an x-ray on her and the tumour was about 3cm big!

i was so sad that we didnt make her to do checkup any sooner when she came back to malaysia during chinese new year, when we first discovered a slight swellness on her neck.

i could only joke to ease her tension and told her that she has a pingpong ball on the base of a neck. yeah... a very bad joke.

Monday, June 23, 2008

papillary thyroid cancer

sister called me last friday and confirmed swellon area on her neck was caused by cancerus cells on her thyroid.

she was pretty calm when she told me the news over the phone. however tears were about to burst from my eyes.

she have decided to go with what her doctor recommended, and remove the entire thyroid.

i am worried... but she told me have a papillary thyroid cancer is the best cancer one could have. just that she will be on medicine for artificial thyroid hormone for the rest of her life. she will also not be able to work for few months before her hormone treatment, and wont be able to eat and talk for weeks.

i couldnt think of anything else to say but joked about she may get rid of her hoarse voice and get a sweeter voice after the operation.

the operation will be this wednesday 8am UK time. i hope everything will be well.